Hey kids... you may be aware that once upon a time this blog was called "Mr. Pulsipher goes to Washington." It was supposed to be an autobiographical sojourn through the mean streets of Washington D.C. At that time, my desire to live/work in DC coincided with my personal interest in politics, and my blog reflected that. After a while however, I noticed that I didn't particularly like the direction my blog was going. For several reasons.
1. Picking on the Bush Administration was like "shooting fish in a barrel." I got winded in the early rounds, much like Apollo Creed beating up a lifeless Rocky Balboa.
2. My critiques & rants were not particularly well crafted nor insightful. Just typical angry democrat platitudes. It made for really uninteresting reading.
3. I wanted to give people something enjoyable to read. Reading angry political blogging is like reading a sixth grader's journal penned in pig-latin. I get it, but I want my 6 minutes back.
That being said, I'm about to tip toe near those waters again. I'm sorry, but seeing freaking Chuck Norris with his smug grin behind Mike Huckabee after his "victory" in Iowa made my blood boil.
By and large, celebrity endorsements are pretty anemic. Yet... I do think it speaks to who the candidate is trying to attract. After all, if you felt an endorsement were a liability, you wouldn't go around telling people about it.
It has been a wild and crazy celebrity endorsement season. Larry Flynt, the founder of the Hustler Empire endorsed Dennis Kucinich. Oprah endorsed Obama. Chuck Norris endorses Huckabee.
This begs several questions. What the hell does Chuck Norris know about politics. Two, who looks to Chuck Norris as a political sensei? Oprah - with her seemingly limitless sphere of influence makes sense as an endorsement. It has been argued that even the Flynt endorsement is supposed to have 1st amendment implications (big stretch).
What does Chuck Norris add to your campaign? Credibility to to those with a penchant for martial arts. Also, those who like Texas Rangers. No, not the baseball team - an elite branch of the lone star state's justice system - memorialized on Norri's hit (or something else that rhymes with hit) show "Walker, Texas Ranger."
Three years ago (or so) there was a lengthy list of Chuck Norris attributes that spread originally through chain email, and was posted everywhere. Somewhere along the line it went from laughing AT Chuck Norris, to laughing WITH Chuck Norris. The guy is a has-been (or maybe, "was-he-ever"?) and holds as much celebrity clout as Rowdy Roddy Piper. I'm embarrassed for him, and for Mike Huckabee.
Now that I've got that out of my system... I think this begs an imperative question. Who are the top people you'd want to endorse your political campaign, and who are the last people you'd want an endorsement from.
I'll suggest a few, and wait for your brilliance on the matter. Living or Dead, does not matter.
Endorsements - Yes Please!
The Google Guys - let's face it, they've got the midas touch. plus, with every google search my page would be at the top.
Oprah - I think that every house with a TV on at 3pm has Oprah on it.
John Elway - the man is a Legend. If I were running in Colorado I'd secure 97% of the vote on his endorsement alone.
Louie Anderson - fat comedian with a nasal voice stretches the bounds of the comedy genre. It takes a big man to put your name on the line in the pursuit of "kitsch" comedy. I am that man.
Endorsements - No Thanks!
Chuck Norris - it says "I have bad taste in tv and film, and am an otherwise sloppy person"
George W. Bush - political suicide
Jan 7, 2008
Sinbad - you have to draw the line with comedian endorsements somewhere.